What We Need Right Now Is Family

By Steven Bulger, CEO/President

It feels like there is a lot competing for our attention right now. Turn on the television, open social media or simply scroll through your phone and it doesn't take long to find something designed to make you angry, anxious or worried.

Politics feels increasingly divided. Social media can bring out the worst in people. Adults say things to one another online they would probably never say face to face. Our kids are growing up with pressures and influences that many of us never had to navigate. Bullying doesn't necessarily stop when the school day ends anymore. It can follow a child home on a phone in their pocket.

There is economic uncertainty. There are concerns about mental health. Parents are stretched, employees are stretched, kids are stretched.

And sometimes I wonder whether, in a world where we have more ways to connect than ever before, we are actually becoming less connected to the people who matter most. I don't pretend to have the answer to all of those challenges. But I am increasingly convinced that one of the answers is remarkably simple.

We need family. I say that as a CEO, but more importantly, I say it as a husband and a dad. My daughter, Breana, is a senior in high school this year. My son, Stevie, is a sophomore. And like every parent who suddenly realizes how quickly the years have gone, I am very aware that the window when all of us are living under the same roof is getting smaller.

That perspective changes things. It makes a family dinner feel a little more important. It makes sitting in the stands at a game more important. It makes the car ride, the conversation at the kitchen counter, the family vacation, the question of "How was your day?" and actually listening to the answer more important. None of those things are complicated. But increasingly, I think they matter.

We need more families sitting down for dinner together. We need parents putting the phones down sometimes and asking their kids what is actually happening in their lives. We need kids to know there is someplace they belong unconditionally. We need grandparents, extended family members, coaches, teachers, neighbors and other caring adults who understand that sometimes simply showing up consistently can change the trajectory of a young person's life. And we need to recognize that strengthening families isn't only a responsibility inside the home.

Businesses have a critical role too. As business leaders, we talk constantly about workforce development, recruitment and retention. Those things matter. But employees aren't just employees. They are mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, sons and daughters, coaches, caregivers, volunteers; the list goes on. Organizations that want great employees should create cultures that allow people to be great family members too. That doesn't mean work isn't important. I love what I do and have spent much of my life building an organization and pursuing ambitious goals. But I have never believed my family should get whatever is left of me after work gets the best of me. I also don't believe businesses lose when they respect that priority. I think they actually win. People who feel supported as human beings are more likely to be engaged, committed and invested in the organizations where they work.

Our communities have a role as well. We need to invest in our kids. Not someday; now! That means schools, sports, arts, recreation, mentoring, mental health, child care, safe places to gather and adults willing to invest their time in young people. It means seeing young people not simply as recipients of services or students in classrooms, but as the future of our region. Because they are.

We spend a lot of time talking about economic development and the future of the Mohawk Valley. We should. Creating jobs, attracting businesses and growing our economy are critically important. But the most important long-term investment we can make in this region may be sitting at our kitchen tables tonight… our kids. The values we teach them, the time we give them, the confidence we build in them, the examples we set for them, and the families and support systems we build around them.

Family doesn't look the same for everyone. It may be parents and children. It may be grandparents raising grandchildren. A single parent, foster parents, extended family, or people who have intentionally built a family around relationships rather than biology. The structure may be different but the need to belong is not. At a time when so many forces seem to be pulling people apart, maybe one of the most powerful things we can do is intentionally pull closer together.

Have dinner together. Go to the game. Ask the second question when "I'm fine" doesn't sound quite right. Call your parents. Put the phone away. Let your employees go to their kid's field trip. Coach a team. Mentor a young person. Simply be present.

None of these things will solve every challenge facing our society. But imagine what our community looks like if thousands of us do them a little more often. I believe stronger families create stronger kids. Stronger kids create stronger communities. And stronger communities create a stronger future for all of us. With all of the uncertainty around us right now, maybe what we need most isn't complicated at all.

What we need right now is family.